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Funny Photos - September 2009

Quentin Tarantino's Wildest Characters

September 14th 2009 05:59

Mr Blonde (Michael Madsen). Reservoir Dogs, 1992

Besuited alpha male, particularly famed for impromptu ear-severing. A charming psychopath who likes to simmer and sit tight. Perks up when obscure Dylan-esque Seventies pop hits come on the radio and has a habit of flicking away cigarette butts just before something really nasty happens. Approach with due trepidation.

Jules Winnfield (Samuel L Jackson). Pulp Fiction, 1994

A principled killer with a philosophical bent. Quotes chunks of Biblical verse when dishing out punishment. Often terrific company and very tolerant of a shambolic, bungling colleague, but too smart for this game. Wants out. To be respected and on no account messed around.

Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah). Kill Bill, Vols 1 and 2, 2003/4

Aka California Mountain Snake. Trained assassin. Foolishly disrespected her sensei and lost an eye, then got her own back by poisoning him. Wears patch. Uses a black mamba to dispose of former colleagues. Worth avoiding, on balance, unless rampage of revenge strictly necessitates a face-off.

Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell). Death Proof, 2007

A deranged serial killer. Also, kind of a road hog. Games of chicken are a bad idea – he’ll win. Getting in his passenger seat an even worse idea, since it’s custom-fitted to trap. If he’s ever met you, he’s got you written down in his creepy notebook, so be warned.

Col Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz). Inglourious Basterds, 2009

All smiles. Fond of strudel. A class act, really, in the field of Jew-hunting. Expert in polished conversational torture. Prone to jump across the room and throttle you once he’s had his fun. Beware overtures of friendship from this one. He means you damage.

*Images and information sourced from The Daily Telegraph. See more Tarantinon here.

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